Sunday, May 20, 2007

Adult Classes

On my way home from work the other day I noticed a bright new banner hanging on a street corner which proclaimed, "Adult Classes Here". I was immediately intrigued. While I managed to get married and find gainful employment there are many important "adult" skills that I have yet to learn. My mind raced with delightful possibilities.

Adult lesson #1: I can finally learn to be unafraid of the dark. This will save me oodles of cash on my electric bill, not to mention the time I will save each night when I don't have to enter each empty room shouting "Now let me just put this gun away Mr. Norris, then I'll help you trim your beard".

Adult Lesson #2 Grown ups agree, animals DO NOT understand a word you say. Instead of wasting time each day talking to Kitty and Mr. Mo I can consider my retirement options! Yippee!

Adult Lesson #3 Refrain from using words like "yippee!" and "hooray!". Adults say things like "indubitably" and "I must consult my portfolio".

Wait a minute......being an adult is starting to sound like a real snooze. I wonder if they offer superhero classes? Now THAT sounds like a good time!

5 comments:

Jennifer said...

Hey - I recognize that wiener! Adults are taught not to laugh at the word wiener. hahahaha

Jane said...

Funny! I would flunk the In the Dark Class. When Cliff's not home I keep the house lit like a Christmas tree. I don't relish the idea of being in the dark. Ketchup with you later...

stormy said...

I'll bet the Adult Classes have a session on how to buy a dark gray Camry. No cute Mini's in that group.

Craig said...

Growing up sux.

woof nanny said...

Oh geez, if I couldn't talk to animals, I wouldn't be so good at my job. That's why they love me so much. Seriously, I'm like the dog whisperer.