Thursday, April 24, 2008

So long and thanks for all the fruits

My doctor thinks that I may be hypoglycemic. Anyone who has witnessed my mood magically improve during the course of a meal will be inclined to agree with him. Looking through the startlingly familiar symptom list felt like the dawning of a bold new era of wisdom and reason. (I may be moody and weak but it is not my fault!) Looking at my sad list of permitted foods made me long for the age of ignorance. I have a sneaking suspicion that my meal plan has been in use since 1954, the foods listed certainly would not be out of place in diet books from that era. Saltines and Carnation Instant Nonfat Milk? Well that sounds like a JIM DANDY bedtime snack! Mom knows to start each day off right with eggs and extra helpings of bacon.
Give up sweets? NOT a problem! I rarely eat them anyway! Alcohol too? Well I do enjoy a good cocktail but giving that up will certainly help with my waistline. NO COFFEE? ONLY ONE PIECE OF FRUIT A DAY?! MY GOD MAN ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?! Ahem, there go those mood swings again.
At least I can eat beans! I love beans, so filling and full of protein.......... AND CARBS? Damn.
I know that there are far worse fates to befall a foodie. Please permit this bit of tantrum throwing while I figure out how best to fill my belly. Even better, share your best diet tips with this undereducated carb-o-holic.


stormy said...

Oh, phooey! Does that mean no more lemon meringue pie?

Anonymous said...

Thirty. When food is no longer your friend. I recommend two books: Sugarbusters and the South Beach Diet. Both recommended by my doctor and the recipes in South Beach can keep a foody interested.

eviedee said...

Stormy, for your pie I will have to make an exception! :)

Anonymous, thanks for the tips! Now that I have officially decided that my doctor's diet is crap I am looking to better educate myself on carbs. I suspect that the South Beach Diet would be a good fit for me, half the stuff I buy in the store has that label on it.

Cara mia said...

I have hypoglycemic incidents, and my doctor told me to make sure I have protein and carbs in the morning? He also suggested, that if I get cranky because I haven't been fed, to eat a package of pb cracker sandwiches!